What sexual act can make a man feel like a woman, and a woman feel like a man?
Getting fucked up the ass.
I've been thinking about this lately. Reading about the homophobia in The Spy Who Shagged Me reminded me of how differently two people can read the meaning of a single sexual act. In one scene, several spies watch a woman's shadow pull objects out of a man's shadow (actually out of a bag behind him); they react in growing horror as she pulls out a rope, an umbrella, a gerbil... I agree that one reading of the scene is homophobic--probably the intended reading-- the movie plays uneasily with the possibility of Austin's queerness in several places. But I enjoy watching a man on his knees with a woman's fist inside him for what might be very different reasons. What can I say? I've had my hand inside a man's body, and I liked it.
I've spoken to non-trans queer men about the difficulty that goes with being penetrated; anxieties about anal sex can encapsulate fears that being queer makes you less of a man, therefore more of a woman. But mostly when I think about anal sex, I think of ftms. For many of my butch lesbian pals this is the acceptable penetration to talk about, less dysphoric to practice and less shameful to name. It's a common topic of conversation among trannyfags as well. And those categories do have a tendency to get fuzzy around the edges... I'm aware that in the popular imagination, getting fucked makes a man less masculine; I'm interested in the butches and transexual men who find it is the masculine way to be fucked. Such different meanings attached to the same physical act...
Another point where effeminate men and masculine women can be connected; in perceived gender, and in slurs. Sometimes dykes are called fags, and sometimes fags are called dykes. Sometimes I think that the people who hate us are smarter than we think when they group us together; that they are picking up on a valid physical connection between people in the middle.
So my riddle has a visual answer as well, butch and queen looking more alike than anyone else, back to back joined by a double-headed dildo, the same act rocking them closer together...
Anyone want to draw me the picture?
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